Leap Day Proposals

This post is written by Pete. For all his posts, check out this link.

Hey fellas. So I dunno if you've heard, but apparently on Leap Day, women are "allowed" to propose to their boyfriends. Yup, if a woman wants to propose to her boyfriend, she can only do so on February 29. Once every four years and must wait for a Leap Year.

My first assumption was that it's just another sexist ancient rule in the already bizarre world of marriage, a rule probably made up back in the middle ages, a time when women weren't even allowed to talk unless they were given permission by a man.

If you look back through history, you will find countless examples of just how dumb and illogical human beings can be. I mean, at one point, people believed the sun revolved around the earth. Then along came Galileo with his idea of a heliocentric universe.

As far as the leap day proposal is concerned, it too was the result of a series of illogical beliefs. The legend is that in the fifth century, St. Brigid of Kildare complained to St. Patrick, the patron saint of Ireland, that some men took too long to propose. After hearing Brigid rant a bit, he decided to allow proposals every leap day. Oh boy, how generous of him. Personally, I don't think women have to be given permission to be allowed one day every four years to do the proposing.

(Lisa's note: So I read up a little bit on St. Brigid -- who may or may not actually exist, depending who you ask, and who may have been a child when St. Patrick died, making this story complete folklore. But aren't those the best stories? Anyway, as the rumor goes, as soon as St. Brigid got St. Patrick's permission for women to propose, she dropped to her knee and popped the question -- to him. He declined, but gave her a kiss and a silk dress. So now, the tradition is that if an Irish woman proposes to a man, and he declines, he's still on the hook for a silk gown.)

What do you think? I can think of several couples where the woman is or was frustrated as she waited to be proposed to by her boyfriend for years. Yet, despite this frustration, she continues to participate in the antiquated belief that it is the man's job to do the proposing. If she does it, it takes the pressure off the man ... and she'll get her answers about the relationship quicker too. She could wait until February 29 just to use the leap day proposal tradition as a good excuse to build up the confidence to ask. But, if you're the "she" and didn't plan anything for today, you'll still have to wait another four years for the next February 29 to roll around. Don't wait. Just pick another day and go for it.

BRIDAL BABBLE: What do you think about leap day proposals?

How To Rent A Tuxedo

This How To Rent A Tuxedo post is written by Pete. For all his posts, check out this link.

So it's tuxedo time, eh? Rest easy fellas, for us, renting a tuxedo is a ridiculously simple, assembly line type process. It's actually safe to say that the whole tux acquisition experience is probably the complete opposite of what your bride is going to have to go through in order to get her dress. For them, it's a months-long process of going to (seemingly) hundreds of stores, where they try on several thousand dresses, and not liking any of them for one reason or another, then eventually finding one she thinks she likes, only to find out that it's either too expensive or, by the time she actually decides she wants it, finds out the store she found it at no longer carries it.

For guys it pretty much goes like this: 1. Find closest Men's Wearhouse 2. Get tux.

(Lisa's note: You can go somewhere other than Men's Warehouse, but we went there. A Bride On A Budget has no affiliation with MW and didn't receive anything for this post. This was just our experience and we can only write about what we know!)

It, literally, took me 25 minutes. The hardest part was getting my groomsmen to remember to order their tuxes before the cutoff date. You know, that one bum ass friend who's such a procrastinator that, at 36-years-old, still hasn't even gotten around to getting a job. Every time you call him to remind him that time is running out to order his tux, he tells you: "Oh yeah man, don't worry, I plan on doing it today" or "I get my unemployment check on Friday, I'll pick it up Saturday morning. Don't worry, I'm on top of it." You know, that guy.

So let's zoom in on the process and take a closer look. The first thing a guy has to do is drive to the closest Men's Wearhouse and pick a color. You basically have three choices: 1. Black, 2. Gray, 3. Khaki. Basically just pick the one you like most or hate least. (At our store, khaki only came in suits, not tuxedos, leaving you with two choices.) Many times, the location of your wedding and the time of year it's happening determine the color. We got married in June by the beach, so I opted for light gray with wisteria accents (vest, pocket squares, and ties) and kicks.

Once you decide on the color, you get measured, choose your other accessories (cufflinks, buttons, shoes) and that's it. The cashier hands you a receipt with your confirmation number on it, the date you need to come back to try on the tux to make sure it fits correctly (generally, it's two or so days before the wedding), and a group number for your groomsmen. They will give that group number at any Men's Wearhouse and will get the exact tuxedo you picked for your groomsmen.

After the standards are picked out, you can customize your outfit in any number of ways, if you want. Men's Warehouse sells all sorts of accessories. I planned on ordering custom-made gray and wisteria Converse All-Stars, so I picked up a pair of black, gray, and wisteria argyle socks to add some fresh pop to the whole production. I also added a matching fedora (with feather). It was my grandfather's from way back in the day, and it happened to match my tux nicely. I was going to rent suspenders, but decided not to because they'd be just one more thing I'd lose and wind up having to pay for.

When the day came for me to pick up my tux, it was as easy as running in and out. For the most part, the sizing was good. The pants were just a tad long, but I think that was just a matter of preference. For some reason I'm a pain in the ass when it comes to two things: kicks and pants. If I followed my instinct on this one, I would have had to go back and forth to Men's Wearhouse another seven or eight times before I was satisfied. I totally wasn't in the mood for all that, so I just took them as they were.

As far as I know, my groomsmen's experiences were the same. They walked in, gave the group number, and went through the measuring process. In my experience, Men's Wearhouse did a great job and appeared to have the whole tux selection process down to a science. Overall, from start to finish the process was super easy and straight forward.

BRIDAL BABBLE: What was your tuxedo rental experience like?

Want a free tuxedo rental from Men's Wearhouse?
Find out how to get one in out free tuxedo or suit rental post.

Wording An RSVP Card To Limit Guests

I remember standing at the entrance to a wedding once when the maid of honor turned to me furiously. "The bride is gonna be so mad," she said.

"Why?" I said, as I kissed and greeted another guest.

"Jennifer just came," she said.

"Oh good," I said, still unsure about the problem with Jennifer.

"She brought her boyfriend," the maid of honor said. She then went on to tell me that Jennifer wasn't invited with a guest. She even called the bride to ask if she could bring a guest ... and the bride said no. And yet, here she was, walking in on the arm of her plus one.

I wish I could tell you this is the only person ever to do this, but I can't. I can't even tell you this was the only person from this wedding to do this. I'm going to be very honest with you. Sometimes, people see what they want to see when the read your RSVP cards.

Maybe you specified an exact RSVP date on your card because you need to give a hard count to your venue by a certain date. But sometimes, there are some guests who take that as a suggestion. And sometimes when you address an invitation to one single person by herself, she still brings a guest.


So what can you do to combat this? Make it as specific as possible.

The image above, it's actually the RSVP card for a wedding we're heading to next month. The bride and groom made it very easy for us to know that we are both invited (and thank goodness too because we wouldn't want to flip a coin to see who would go). Single guests will have a "1" written in. Couples whose kids are not invited will have a "2" and couples with kids will have the number adjusted accordingly.

Your guests have to write in a number in the blank space before the number with the number coming, then fill in the bottom. If the RSVP is a no, the guests will write "0 of 2 will attend" and then check the "will be celebrating from afar" section.

Your other option is to let your envelope do the talking. This is really getting into a different post about how to address envelopes, but here's a quick run down.

• If your guest gets a guest (and that guest can be anyone), address it as "Name & Guest" (like the envelope above).
• If your guest gets a specific guest (like a specific significant other), address it to both of them.
• If it's a family, address it to Mr. & Mrs., plus the names of invited minors (anyone over 18 gets his or her own invitation). Do not write "and family."
• If your guest doesn't get a plus one, address it with one single name.

If someone RSVP's with a guest who wasn't invited, you have two options. You can just let them bring someone and avoid the headache (this is what we did) or you can call them and politely explain that you don't have room for any additional people, but if you receive more no's than anticipated, you will let your friend bring a friend.

BRIDAL BABBLE: How did you word your RSVP cards?

The Truth About Colored Diamonds

This post is written by Pete. For all his posts, check out this link.

After an extended break, I am happy to be back. And just in time too! I mean, has anyone seen these commercials recently for colored diamonds? The first one I saw was for "chocolate," then there was one for "yellow." That's when I said to myself, "Really? So now they're re-branding the diamonds they can't get rid of?"

Before I even get started, let's just have a quick chat about color for a minute. What causes diamonds to be colored? Impurities or structural defects. Only pure diamonds are perfectly colorless. It is important to note, however, that not all colors are equal. The Hope Diamond, arguably the most famous colored diamond, is blue. And it's worth about $250 million ... so just a little bit more than most. Then there's Jennifer Lopez's pink diamond engagement ring from Ben Affleck that was worth $1.2 million. So more than most perfect, transparent ones.

But, famous diamonds aside, let's focus on ones that you'll probably get (unless you have a couple mil to drop on an engagement ring and, if you do, you're probably not reading a wedding blog about budgets).

If you recall from my post How To Buy An Engagement Ring: Part II, the color of a diamond greatly effects its price. The color scale goes from D to Z.

Diamonds with a "D" designation are colorless, and of the highest grade. Along with E and F diamonds, they are also the rarest types of diamonds, which limits supply. The appearance of these diamonds are most desired by consumers as well. With that being said, it follows logically that they are also the most expensive.

As you make your way down the color scale, the quality of a diamond goes down, along with price ... until you get down to Z, which is very yellow. Brown diamonds -- aka chocolate diamonds -- don't even make the chart. With all of this in mind, let's now turn to a discussion about the diamonds mentioned in those commercials I was talking about. You know them, the ones that equate diamonds with chocolate, which in my mind makes me feel like they're selling chocolate chips. Maybe it's just me, but associating diamonds with chocolate makes about as much sense as onyx to black licorice. Eh, I dunno. I mean, I get it chocolate is brown and so are the diamonds, but I feel like all that commercial accomplishes is getting  people to say, "Damn, I'm cravin' me some chocolate right now! Hey honey, we got any hot cocoa?"

BRIDAL BABBLE: Would you buy a ring with a colored diamond?

Wedding Morning Gift For The Bride (Plus a free wedding coffee sleeve printable) #SipIndulgence #ad

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #SipIndulgence #CollectiveBias

I wanted to get bagels for my bridesmaid to eat on the morning of my wedding. I had set up a mimosa bar and thought I should give them some breakfast too.

My mom said no. All my bridesmaids were staying at a hotel with free breakfast, so they were meeting my parents at breakfast, eating, and then driving over. That made it easier for me except, well, I actually never ate breakfast.

So when I was thinking of what a great wedding morning gift for the bride would be, it was definitely breakfast. Of course, I added coffee because even though the bride is running on adrenaline on her wedding day, she's also running on fumes. I didn't eat from the Wednesday before my wedding until the Sunday after it. I just didn't have time to stop and do it. So coffee helps. And, just to make it more special, I actually made a coffee sleeve. You can print it out (completely free, of course) later in the post.

Wedding Morning Gift For The Bride

What You'll Need:

• Gift basket
• Coffee (I got instant because wedding morning is chaotic and no one has time to wait for a full pot to brew.)
• Coffee creamer (Go with a variety so she can choose what she likes and so she'll have some leftover to offer out of town guests who stop by in the next few days.)
• Muffins
• Grapes (When buying food, remember, you're buying this for a bride who doesn't have time to sit down and eat a plate of pancakes. She needs something easy, like grapes. They're not messy and easy to pop in her mouth when she's getting her wedding makeup done.)
• Disposable cups (Because you don't want your bride to worry about dishes when she gets home from her wedding)
• Napkins
• Paper straws (I opted out of these because I couldn't find matching ones, but they would have been a good addition.)
• Coffee sleeve *see below
• Bud vase
• Fake flower
• A card

What You'll Do (for the coffee sleeve):

I have two options for you. The first is the easy way: Just print out the one I already made. It's below. All you have to do is right click and save it to your computer. It's formatted to print on an 8.5x11 sheet of paper. I printed it on card stock, not printer paper, so it's a little thicker.

To make it, I actually traced a coffee sleeve I already had from a local coffee shop, then scanned it. I opened that file in a design program and made something pretty with "Bride" on it. I knew the cup I was putting it on was very design-heavy, so I wanted to keep the coffee sleeve a little simpler. I printed it onto pink card stock to go with my theme.

If you want to go in another direction with yours, I have a blank template for you below. You can either decorate it before or after, depending on your skill set. 

After you have it printed, cut it out with scissors.

Size it around your coffee cup and glue the edges down. Let it dry. While it's drying, you can assemble the rest of your gift basket.

What You'll Do (for the gift basket):

Line the bottom of your gift basket with napkins. This is really more for looks than function, if I'm being completely honest.

Be sure to do everything you can to make life easiest for your bride. Wash your grapes beforehand so she can eat them right away.

Wrap the muffin in two napkins. When picking muffins, avoid banana nut. It's delicious in general, but you don't know if any of the bridesmaids may be highly allergic to nuts. And the last thing you want on wedding morning is a trip to the hospital.

Affix the coffee sleeve to a coffee cup.

At the very last minute, put the coffee creamer in the basket. That way, it's still cold when you get to the bride's house.

BRIDAL BABBLE: What else would you include in your wedding morning gift?

Mint Sugar Scrub Bridal Shower Favors

We went to Florida over the summer and, a few hours before we flew back home, we stopped at a restaurant for lunch. In the bathroom, by the sink, was homemade sugar scrub. I used it and really loved it. You could actually buy it at the hostess stand, but I didn't really feel like carrying it on the plane.

It was also one of those things that made me think, "I can make that."

It took a few months, but I finally made it. And I'm kicking myself that I didn't make it sooner. It was so easy -- and it's amazing. We've been using it in the shower ever since I made it and each morning, Pete tells me how much he loves it. So of course, it became the my new favorite bridal shower favor idea.

Mint Sugar Scrub Bridal Shower Favors

I made these ones green because it made it a little more eye catching (plus mint and green seem to go hand in hand). You don't need the food coloring, though. You can leave it out all together and it will be just the same.

What You'll Need (for the sugar scrub):

• 1.25 cups of white sugar
• 1/3 cup of olive oil
• 20 drops of peppermint essential oil
• 2oz. plastic jars
• Green food coloring

What You'll Do:

Mix together the sugar, oils, and food coloring until it is all combined. If you want a richer color, just add more food coloring and mix well.

If the mixture feels too oily to you, add a little more sugar. It will dry up a little overnight, though, and you do want a bit of an oily consistency. You don't want something to gritty.

Scoop it into the plastic jars. Do not -- I repeat do not -- pack this stuff in. It looks like baby food that way. Leave it looser and it looks so much better.

I actually found ten 2.5oz plastic jars at the dollar store (part of why you should always go wedding shopping at the dollar store). This recipe ended up making five containers.

Leave them overnight and then it's time to package them.

What You'll Need (for the packaging):

• Scissors
• White curling ribbon
• Light green tulle
• One-hole punch
• "From My Shower To Yours" sugar scrub printable gift tag (see below)

What You'll Do:

Cut two 13-inch strips of tulle.

Lay them in a plus-sign shape and put the container of sugar scrub in the middle.

Pull up the edges (it's easier if you pull the inner one first) and tie with ribbon..

Cut out a "From My Shower To Yours" sugar scrub printable gift tag and punch a hole in the top.

Affix it with the string and curl the ribbon.

To make this so much easier for you (and budget friendly), I created a "From My Shower To Yours" sugar scrub printable gift tag. It's formatted to fit an 8.5x11 sheet of paper (so standard home printer size). Just right click, save it to your computer, and print out as many copies as you need.

Be sure to stock up on ink before printing these. You don't wan to be running to the store in the middle of putting these together.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Would you make this sugar scrub for your bridal shower?

The Best Wedding Advice: Take A Moment For Yourself

Take a moment for yourself.

All through the wedding planning process, that's what everyone told me. I think people knew I didn't need help deciding on what color bridesmaids dresses to pick or what to use as wedding favors. I had all that under control.

What I did need, though, was to hear: Take a moment for yourself.

Which is a funny thing to say, really, especially to me. I work full time at home as a blogger. There's a lot of me time (okay, it's basically all spent with my cat, but still). I am one of the few people who doesn't wish the workweek away to get to the weekend. And I'm the girl who will leave my phone in my purse at all times because I want to spend time with the person I'm with. I guess the buzzword right now is to be "present," but really, I make it a point to do that.

And even if you do, you need to remember that on your wedding day.

That day is filled with so much happy chaos. You know every single person there, so there are so many people to talk to and dance with. You just found the one whom your soul loves, as the quote goes, and your hearts were joined together. You're just happy and in love and twirling and spinning and it's over so quickly.

So you need to be reminded to take a moment to breath, to take it all in, to tune out all the noise and just be present.

It's one thing to tell this to you and it's another to actually have done it. And I did really make sure to do this. So, my top three wedding moments that I took for myself and carry so deep in my heart:

1. Catching my dad cry.
Pete and I were sitting on the alter and I looked out into the church. I caught my dad crying. Not just a tear blurring up his eye but actual tears falling. And crying is so contagious for me (I cry when people make it through on American Idol and they're crying). So this, of course, set me off. I turned to Pete. "My dad is crying and it's making me cry," is all I remember getting out of my mouth before Pete started rubbing my hand. "It's okay," he said. "Just face me. No one can see you."

And in that moment, I have no idea what the priest was saying. I know he must have been talking, but I couldn't hear him. I just watched Pete's fingers run over my hand until my tears stopped. I honestly don't think anyone even knew I cried. I don't even know that Pete remembers this at all, but I do.

2. Sitting with my little brother at our table and giving him my shrimp.
I don't know how I ended up sitting at the sweetheart table. Those were our seats but it was just so hard to actually sit for a minute. Everyone wanted their chance to talk and dance, so I only sat at our table once. And somehow, I ended up with shrimp and grits. I don't know how it appeared. It was an action station in the lounge area was and I never made it into that room. Maybe someone set it at our table for me, I don't know.

But what I do know is my little brother came over to the sweetheart table and sat with me a minute. And I remember so badly wanting him to stay, partially because I don't see him often and I wanted to get a second to talk to him but mostly because if he was there, I could steal a minute to try to eat my first food in three days. And that food happened to be shrimp and grits. Except the shrimp and grits was on the menu because it's such a southern thing and I knew our guests would love it. I, however, don't eat shrimp. So I offered them to my brother -- and he ate them.

3. Hugging Pete after he played guitar.
I gave Pete his dream guitar at our wedding. (You can read all about it here.) I hugged him and explained that it was his ... and that's when he started to cry. So I walked him outside onto the patio outside our ballroom. And I hugged him and let him get emotional. I stole that moment for us. People were outside, but for that moment, it was just me and Pete. There was no one else in the world.

Until the lead singer of our wedding band came out and said it was time to cut the cake.

"Can you stall a little and just give us a minute?" I asked. Of course, he said yes. He went back inside and there, outside in the cool night, it was just us. No one else.

Of course I remember so much else, but it's all so fast: my grandma dancing in her wheel chair, watching my little brother put the garter belt on his girlfriend, walking down the aisle with my dad, Pete taking a picture in a port-a-potty, my parents slow dancing ... but these three times, they're when time froze.

So, I say to you, bride-to-be:  Take a moment for yourself. Sneak boff on your own if you can or, if you can't, just be present. Remind yourself that you don't get to do this day again, take a look around, and really let it sink in. Because those will be the moments you hold so dear. It won't be how the chicken tasted or what songs the band played. It will be the moments you take for yourself. Trust me.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Which moment from your wedding was your favorite?

Cupcakes Vs. Cake (The great wedding debate)

I remember when I stopped in to a cupcake shop in town for the first time.

It was, by far, the best red velvet anything I've had ... which is a feat since I pretty much eat red velvet anywhere it's available and I'm super picky.

It got me thinking. At one of the bridal expos we went to, we sampled six cakes and I wasn't impressed with a single one. I wouldn't serve any of them to my guests. I'm kind of a dessert snob. Pete, he doesn't know a scratch cake from a box cake. They're all the same to him. But my pallet, it knows desserts.

And this cupcake ... it's what memories are made of.

So I thought, "What if I went against a traditional wedding cake and got cupcakes from this shop?"

Wedding cupcakes are the trendy thing to do. In fact, it's exactly what my friend Mallory did at her wedding.

She had a small cake ... and that's the one they cut and stuffed in each other's faces. But everyone else had a delicious cupcake. It was perfect. After a cocktail hour and dinner, you don't always have much room for a traditional cake. But I've never heard a single person ever say they don't have room for a cupcake.

I mentioned cupcakes to my mom during planning, and she said that I would regret it in the future. She said I would look back on my photos and wish that I had one of a gorgeous wedding cake. And our wedding cake, gosh, it was gorgeous. And delicious. It took me months of cake tasting to find the perfect one. But over a year later, people are still talking about it. It was definitely the right choice for us.

But, what about you?

BRIDAL BABBLE: What side of the cupcakes vs. cake wedding debate do you fall on?