Tuesday, March 12, 2013

My Logistical Nightmare

Pete and I are both from New York. Our parents are from New York (and, as far as I know, none of them ever lived outside of New York). We were both born, raised, and went to high school and college in New York. We both spent a couple years outside of New York, but we met when we were both back in New York.

Our friends, family, everyone's in New York.

With the exception of one, all my bridesmaids live in New York. With the exception of one, all Pete's groomsmen live in New York.

Until last winter, we were living in New York.

But now, we live in North Carolina. We work in North Carolina. We're planning our wedding in North Carolina.

And it wasn't until I was talking to my friend that I realized with the exception of us, this is a destination wedding ... and a logistical nightmare.
state love

When I've gone to bridal expos, I'll tell vendors that all our guests will be traveling but it never occurred to me how much I would have to incorporate that into our planning. Yes, I considered that people would be flying here so we need to put together wedding welcome bags for our guests, we will have to coordinate hotel discounts, we will have to give our guests maps of the area and restaurant recommendations.

What I didn't think of was how people are going to get around. How will our guests get from the airport to the hotel? How will they get from the hotel to the rehearsal dinner? The reception? The restaurants we recommend?

I have a car; Pete has a car. They can hold five people each, so that means we can transport ten people between destinations ... although I'm pretty sure we will be occupied and we won't be playing chauffeur to anyone. Are we supposed to rent a party bus? Coordinate with the hotel? Give my maid of honor the keys to my car and my GPS and say, "Good luck"?

When I traveled to a wedding in Washington last summer, I coordinated my flight as best I could with the bride's sister so I could take the two hour ride from the airport to the bride's house with my friend and her husband. After that, I bummed rides with the bride's sister, with the bride's dad, with the bride's aunt and uncle, anyone who had an empty seat fit me in it. I didn't rent a car and it worked out for me.

I was just talking to this friend, and she said they didn't rent a bus. They knew people would be renting cars and left it at that.

Can I rely on people to rent cars? Can I rely on people who do rent cars to fill their extra seats with the people who don't rent cars?

This is the type of stuff that keeps popping up when I try to plan the wedding, the small simple things that are so easily overlooked until someone brings it up. Then, the questions spiral out of control, I have a mini panic attack, and I remind myself: This is how brides become Bridezilla.

BRIDAL BABBLE: What would you do? I seriously need suggestions.


  1. I'm "the friend", people knew how far we lived from the airport. I think it was kinda assumed that people were going to rent cars. If you go on a vacation somewhere unless its a resort and all inclusive wouldn't you rent a car? It is kinda the same thing.

  2. About 80% of our wedding guests traveled from out of state. All of T's groomsmen (except 1) traveled via plane. We left it up to all the guests/wedding party to get around. They are all adults. They all knew how busy T & I were and I didn't loan my car to anyone (neither did T).

    If your guests are grown up enough to book plane tickets, they can figure out how the bus works or rent a car. Don't stress about it- You've got enough to do.

  3. I can see where that would be a major headache! Maybe you could pay to rent a few cars and ask a few friends to chauffeur for the weekend? They could take turns so that no one person is overburdened with the responsibility? I have never dealt with a problem like that and I realize extra expenses are not ideal. I wish you the best of luck in finding a solution to your problem!

  4. It may not occur to some people. I think you may want to "mention" that transportation may be needed. I would include a few different car rental companies with the recommended hotels/restaurants/etc. That way people get the idea without you having to point it right out. I do however think that a bus or some kind of transportation should be arranged for guests back and forth to the hotel for the wedding. Every single wedding I have been to has had this accommodation both local and destination weddings.

  5. I'm sort of in the same boat. I have a lot of guests coming from out of state. Pretty much I'm hoping that if they care enough about coming to the wedding, they will figure out rental cars. Or, there's maybe the idea of creating some sort of private message board where people could share their contact info and get rides from the airport together.

  6. i had people come from out of state for my wedding. we had a wedding website and i stated the best airport to fly into, local hotels near the airport, and hotels near the wedding venue (30-45 minutes away from the airport). i didn't say anything about rental cars, i think most people can assume that if they land in an unfamiliar place for a wedding that they'll need to rent a car to get to wherever they're staying/need to be.

  7. It IS only logical that folks who go to any destination wedding or function provides their own transport. It would be different if you & Pete were multi-millionaires and had the type of wedding where you spend $999,999,999 on a wedding. THOSE folks pay to fly their guests in, have limos for them at the airport, and pay for their accommodations. Normal people are unable to accomplish this feat. I mean, my God, are people that greedy that they ASSUME you would pay for them to have transport? Why? I can see if you did for y'alls mama & daddys, and maybe y'alls grandpas & grandmas, and sisters and brothers. HOWEVER, if they were all financially able and wanted to pay for themselves, who are we to stop them? You two are paying for an expensive wedding. That. Is. It. Those people need to ride a cab, rent a car, ride a bus, walk. (heh heh heh)

  8. We actually had nearly the same situation. We were from Indiana and all our family is in Indiana, but we had moved to Colorado. We just went ahead and had the wedding in Indiana. It made everything easier for everyone, I think.