Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Would You Wear White To A Wedding?

Someone wore white to our rehearsal dinner and a friend pulled me off to the side. "Did you see ... " she said and, before she could even finish, I said yes. Personally, I was in a very light cream hi-low dress because I couldn't find a white dress I liked. So was I upset? Not really until the next day when the same woman wore a partially white dress.

My friends and I still talk about it from time to time. It actually came up over the weekend with a friend. And today, Pete actually brought it up. Even he knows you shouldn't wear white to someone else's wedding.

But ... the more I thought about it, the more I wondered: Would you wear white to a wedding?

So my gut reaction is no. With the exception of a black and white wedding, only the bride should wear white. That's what I say.

Except ... well, let me tell you a story.

I was in charge of taking my cousin to her surprise bridal shower. I went up to New York for it and had packed one dress for the event: a cute, white lacy dress that I had just bought. My cousin's maid of honor got in touch with me about an hour before I was set to leave to let me know me know my cousin had bought a white dress for the shower. Her fiance knew it was bridal shower day so he was going to try to get her in the dress, but it was up to me to guarantee that she didn't leave the house in anything else.

I looked down at my dress and sighed. If I showed up to her house in a white dress, there was a chance that she wouldn't want to match and she'd change. And that would screw up everything. I had left behind a simple black dress when I moved (left it behind, mostly, because I didn't have intentions of ever wearing in again) and that's what I wore. My grandma assured me that I didn't have to change and that my new dress was pretty and perfect, but I changed anyway.

And I'm glad I did because, see, I didn't know that brides wore white to their bridal shower. I don't know where that started, but it sort of appeared out of nowhere and I was unaware.

But no white at a wedding unless you're the bride. That's a thing.

Except ... well, let me show you a picture.

That's me at my friend Nicole's wedding four years ago (this month). I wish I could say that's me on the right, but you guys know better. I'm the happy one in the black and white on the left; her cousin Lauren is in the red.

Yes. I'm in black and white. Pete's friend had actually given me that dress a week or so before the wedding and I was so happy to have somewhere to wear it because it was all sorts of beautiful. And I'm smiling and happy at the wedding (although completely exhausted because this is so close to the end of the night). And Nicole is there, smiling like a pretty princess even though my dress is half white. And, honestly, even though the person in the back of this photo is also wearing white.

You know what? I didn't realize until this weekend -- when it once again came up that someone wore white to my wedding -- that this is what I wore to Nicole's wedding. I've had a photo from her wedding on our fridge for over three years and I still didn't realize I wore white.

So, the truth? You're not supposed to wear white to a wedding that isn't yours (unless it's at the bride's request), but sometimes, you just absolutely don't realize it.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Would you wear white to a wedding?


  1. YOU DO NOT WEAR WHITE TO A WEDDING END OF STORY unless you are told by the bride to. Black and white is fine cause it is not straight white. White to a bridal shower is ok but should be avoided if possible

  2. I feel like patterns or little bits of white are fine (like what you wore) but full on white? NO. I had 2 women wear entirely white ensembles to my wedding and it kinda annoyed me