Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Why You Should Have No Exes At The Wedding

This post is written by Pete. For all his posts, check out this link.

Fellas PLEASE! No exes at the wedding! Sounds crazy right ... or at least it should sound crazy. I mean, obviously, common sense, right? But believe it or not I know guys who actually tried to do this. For those of you, who don't possess common sense, this post is for you. Okay, so just picture this ...

You dated some female back in the day, and although it didn't work out, she's tons of fun, "totally cool," and "cool to drink beers with." The two of you didn't work out, but she's an awesome friend, like one of the guys, ya know? And since she's such a cool bud, you could totally invite her to your wedding, right? Hell no you dumb idiot. She your EX! Yeah, she's your friend so you're just treating her just like the rest of your friends, and you're inviting all of your other friends to the wedding so what's the problem right?

Alright let's just stop right there. I assume anyone with a pulse and eyes that work well enough to read that can see what the problem is here, right? If not, you probably shouldn't be getting married and/or reproducing anyway. So please do the world a favor by NOT contributing your doofy DNA to the global gene pool.

In all honestly though, I get it. I can see both sides, but the only side that matters is the one that's right. Yeah yeah yeah. Okay, I know, the two of you broke up a long time ago, and she's a totally cool person. You may even still see her at the local bar from time to time and speak cordially. Maybe you have a few innocent laughs as the two of you reminisce on some silly old memories. But the bottom line here is that there is no way it is ever okay to invite an ex to your wedding. I'm speaking to you too ladies. I've met several females who are brain dead on this topic too.

I will now explain why by using the following visual to prove my point: Think about this guys. How would you like it if your wife-to-be decided to put ol' Mr. Bum-Ass-Has-Been on the guest list. You know, that dude she dated right before you, that clown you know for a fact has seen and enjoyed her in the most private of ways. Okay. Now imagine this guy sitting in the crowd during your wedding ceremony, straight across from you, and right in the center, front row, his sights fixed on the two of you as you recite your vows (either at a church, courthouse, bank of a river, whatever). Now imagine him looking at the woman you're about to marry, picturing her naked in his mind, because that's exactly what he'd be doing. And the picture he's seeing is damn near 100% accurate. Remember, he's seen the goods. Now picture how you'd feel in that moment, knowing that. Feels uncomfortable, right? Maybe you imagine yourself lunging into the crowd and dragging this guy outside by his neck tie, calling a cab, and sending him home? Who knows. The point is it would be an extremely uncomfortable, awkward, and generally anger-inducing situation.

So fellas, (and ladies, I didn't forget you) just avoid all the aggravation, the shouts of "What are you freaking kidding me?! Really?! Invite your ex!? You're so much dumber than I thought you were!" from your wife-to-be, the fights, and exercise a little common sense. Leave your exes in the past where they belong.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Do you agree with this no exes at the wedding rule?

1 comment:

  1. I agree with you 100%!! They're in your past for a reason. Great posting.