Monday, October 12, 2015

Everything You Need To Know About Flower Girls

Last week, I wrote a long post about ring bearers. It was a pretty comprehensive list that answered any questions you might have (or haven't even had yet). I told you I'd be back with a post about everything you need to know about flower girls. Lucky for you, I'm back with that post right now.

Just like the ring bearer post, this will answer any question you might have about those cute little kids who will be walking down the aisle before you. I tried to match up the questions with the post about the boys to make this process as simple as possible for you.


Everything You Need To Know About Flower Girls

Do you have to have a flower girl?
You don't. We actually didn't have one. We don't have any young nieces or female godchildren, so we skipped this. It's your wedding. If you want a flower girl, go right ahead and have one. If you don't want one, skip it (and, well, you could probably skip the rest of this post too actually).

Who do you ask?
Just like with a ring bearer, you want to ask a flower girl's parents. Mom and dad will be able to let you know if the little girl will be able to make it down the aisle sans hysterics. If you ask the little girl first, then mom and dad say no, that's a whole different set of hysterics. You, as the adult, can't have that same meltdown if mom and dad say no.

Now, who, exactly, should be your flower girl? A good way to go is to keep it in the family. If you have a niece, female goddaughter, young female cousin, best friend's daughter, your own daughter, those are good places to start. But, it's up to you. If you love your friend's daughter, go ahead and ask her. And if you love your grandma, ask your grandma to be your flower girl.

How old should the flower girl be?
If you read our ring bearer post, my age range for that was birth to about 11. For flower girls, that sort of squeezes in a little. The high range is the same. Once you get to 12, you're more of a junior bridesmaid. But the low range is hard.

For a ring bearer, you can stick a newborn in a tuxedo onesie and have someone carry him down the aisle. But that doesn't exactly work for a flower girl since she's sort of expected to toss petals down the aisle. Three is a really good age for this, but two works too. I was around that age when I was in my aunt's wedding, though, and my mom was so busy that she forgot to feed me so walking down the aisle was nearly impossible and tossing petals was basically out of the question. So kids can have meltdowns. Just ask my aunt.

What does she wear?
Usually, she wears a white dress, similar in style to the bride's dress. They're pretty much in wedding dresses and it is absolutely the most adorable thing ever. Seriously. Seeing a little girl in a mini wedding dress will make your ovaries scream for a daughter.

These can get expensive, so you should offer to help the flower girl's parents out with the cost. And if you can't (because, let's face it, you're paying for a full wedding), go with a department store dress or let the flower girl wear something she may already have (like a communion dress, perhaps).

What does she do?
She walks down the aisle, generally with a cute flower girl basket, and tosses petals. Or doesn't throw petals. You have to pay for those petals, so maybe you'd rather have her carry a cute sign down the aisle instead.

Before you pay for anything, though, tell your church or venue about your plans. See, our priest wouldn't allow us to have a flower girl who tossed petals because there was no one available to clean them up before Saturday night mass.

Should she come to the rehearsal?
Absolutely. Tell her parents what she'll be doing at the wedding (throwing petals, just walking, etc.) and they can practice with her before the wedding. Then, have her go through it at the rehearsal the day before the wedding. That way, she will have it down on your wedding day.

And, just as I suggested with the ring bearer, you might want to ask one of the flower girl's parents to stand at the end of the aisle so she can walk to them after walking down the aisle.

When does she walk?
Right before the bride. So, quick rundown of the aisle walking order: mothers of the bride and groom (with their attendants), bridesmaids, maid of honor, ring bearer, flower girl, bride and her dad.

What should you do to thank her?
Definitely get her a thank you present. Something sparkly, like a cute flower girl bracelet, is always nice. You might also want to grab her a toy too. Maybe an American Doll? They're so popular with little girls.

Should she come to the reception?
She should be invited, but if she attends should be up to her mom and dad. Let them decide if they want to party with or without her.

If they decide she's old enough to come, ask your venue if they can offer a kids meal. Many venues will charge you less for kids, plus will offer something kid-friendly, like chicken fingers.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Are you having flower girls at your wedding?

What about a ring bearer?

Check out our Everything You Need To Know About Ring Bearers post.


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