Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Why You Should Think About Everyone Except Yourself On Your Wedding Day

Let me tell you a story about myself.

We were in Japan over the summer and meeting our group at a train station by where my grandma grew up. Pete and I arrived first, and while we were waiting, we went into a grocery store that I had been into a couple dozen times. I wanted to buy my favorite Japanese treats (Koala's March, Pocky sticks, and those chocolate mushroom-shaped cookies that have a name I don't know).

When we were in the snack aisle, I spotted almond crush Pocky, which I had never seen before. I bought a box and was so excited to sit at the train station waiting and trying them.

We got back to the station, though, and as soon as I pulled them from the bag, everyone else in our group started to arrive. So I did what I do. I shared. I opened the box and passed them around before even taking one for myself ... although silently hoping that there would be one left for me. If there wasn't, fine, no big deal. I would just buy another box for myself later.

This is me. This is how I am. I share, I think about other people, and I put their wants before mine because I just want people to be happy, genuinely happy, and that makes me happy.

So when I was planning our wedding, I wanted to make everyone happy. I wanted to give every person a moment to shine. I made wedding welcome bags for each of our out of town guests so they would really feel welcome. After our second dance (we did our first dance, then a second first dance), I had our band play my parents' wedding song so they could have a dance. Then, there was gifting Pete his dream guitar. And the final song of the night was "You Are My Sunshine," which is my grandma's favorite song (and one that is so special to my family).

It was so important for me to share this day and make everyone feel special. And I didn't tell anyone (well, besides the band since they had to have the song available to play). I wanted to surprise everyone with a really special moment.

I didn't do anything specifically special for me because, really, the whole wedding was for me. Pete would have gone to the court house, but I wanted a church wedding and white dress and chocolate cake so that's what we had.

When I got into the limo with my bridesmaids, my cousin Erica turned to me. "What do you want to listen to?"

And it was that exact second when I stopped. I was planning all these special moments for everyone and here was my cousin, asking me what I wanted to listen to because it was my special day. And instead of saying, "Whatever anyone else wants" or something diplomatic as I usual do, I picked Fall Out Boy. Because that's what I wanted to listen to on the way to the church. And we did and I danced in my seat and sang loudly and it was amazing.

That moment was for me. I didn't plan it or take it. It was just given to me unsuspectingly. That's exactly what I did for everyone else, and I know they felt as surprised and happy about it as I did in that moment.

So my advice to you is worry about everyone else. Plan for them. And, if you're lucky, someone will be worried about you.

BRIDAL BABBLE: What's one thing you're planning, for someone else, on your wedding day?


  1. What a great tip! I will have to share this posting with some brides-to-be.

  2. wow U are really special. I would say that it is the flower girl dresses handmade. I've been sewing a long time, and been making quite a few things that are special for someone else.

  3. Looks like you had a great time, which is so important on your one special day! I had my cousin be my personal assistant so if anything arose, she took care of it!