Wednesday, November 30, 2016

Why Wedding Traditions Are So Important

It's your wedding. You want to do you. You want to buck traditions. You want a cupcake tower and a penguin ring bearer because YOLO. I get it. I wanted cupcakes and Pete wanted to ride in on a donkey. In the end, we went with a fabulous cake and Pete walked in with personalized Converse. Sometimes, traditional is okay. But always -- and I stress always -- wedding traditions are a necessity.

Wedding traditions are so important. Read this post from and you will understand why.

When I was planning my wedding, I knew we would have Ave Maria sung during the ceremony. I didn't know when, but I knew it was my grandma's favorite song and that it was important to her to have it sung at my mom's wedding. So here I was, a generation later, knowing it had to be in our ceremony. I never mentioned this to my grandma. I never told her I had it sung because of tradition. I just wanted her to sit during our ceremony and have a moment where she heard the song and thought, "This is my favorite." I gave her that moment, sure, but tradition and history and nostalgia really gave it to her.

And we had a band. Before she passed, before Pete and I were engaged, heck we might not have even been officially a couple yet, Pete's mom told me her favorite weddings were the ones with bands. She said she let her daughters, Pete's sisters, make every wedding decision without her input -- except for the band. She insisted they opt for a band over a DJ and they were both grateful for the push in that direction. So, keeping up the tradition of Pete's family, we had a band. And what a difference the band really made. Pete even got to play with them, which was such a special moment for everyone.

I was grandma-sitting last month, thinking about how lucky it was for me to be able to give her Ave Maria at our wedding, how lucky I was to give her a photo of me alone with my dress and veil because that's the shot she wanted. Did I want a veil? Originally, no. But was it a tradition that was important to my grandma? Yes. And that was that.

These are the things people are going to remember about your wedding. As much as you agonize over it, no one is going to remember if you have a garden or Caesar salad. People won't care if you have yellow or white votive candles in your centerpieces, although that is a decision you will have to make.

But if you play your parents' wedding song and have them slow dance to it, they'll remember that. If your groom wears his grandpa's hat, people will remember that. Both things we did.

Here's the things about traditions: If you skip them, you don't get a redo. After the wedding is done, you don't get a second chance for any shoulda-coulda-wouldas. It's like life. You don't always get tomorrow.

So when you're planning your wedding, you're going to get upset. You're going to get mad over some suggestions and you're gonna want to plan your wedding your way. But when it's all done, the selfishness that comes from your frustration (aka your Bridezilla moments) may cause you to miss moments that are so incredibly important, ones you wish you could add back in. But by then, it'll be too late.

If you and your husband met at a cupcake shop and you really want to have cupcakes at your wedding, I get it. And if your mom really wants you to use her cake topper that her grandma gave her, I get that too. But you'll have the rest of your life to go get cupcakes with your hubby-to-be. You'll only have one chance to use your great-grandma's cake topper.

And maybe you don't want to have everyone watch as you dance with your dad. I get it. It's hard to have the spotlight on you, even on your wedding day. But that tradition, it's one your dad has thought about since the moment you came into this world. And one day, you won't have the opportunity to dance with your dad. And you'll be clinging to every memory; every moment becomes so incredibly important and special. And you'll be so grateful you had that father daughter dance. And that feeling that fills your soul is worth so much more than the nerves of all eyes on you and your dad for three and a half minutes.

I'm lucky that these are the thoughts that fill my heart and soul and mind. I planned my wedding with these thoughts in my mind, and I hope you will too.

BRIDAL BABBLE: I didn't proofread this. I can't. It's too close to my heart right now. Also why there's no bridal babble question on it. I'm not sure when I'll be ready to come back and read this and chat with you all about it. xoxo, Lisa

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for sharing your article on wedding traditions. I really loved how you gave the day so much more meaning by adding small things, like singing Ave Maria, adding a veil or playing your parents’ wedding song. It’s amazing how such little things can bring so much meaning to such a special day.