Saturday, October 20, 2012

No Ring No Bring?

Have you heard of the "no ring no bring" wedding concept?

It's basically saying, "If you are not engaged or married, you don't get a plus one on your invite."

As a way to combat turning your wedding into a hook up for your single friends -- and making it so large you can't afford to pay the bill at the end of the night (which is more or less the real reason for this) -- you can invoke the no ring no bring rule.

The rule basically stats: If you like her enough to want to bring her to the most special day of my life, well, you shoulda put a ring on it.

I feel like the entire concept has to have some sort of asterisks to it. Like, if you're in the bridal party you should automatically get a plus one because you've spent so many dollars and hours on the wedding, the least the couple can do is allow you a second plate of food. And since you can't eat two plates, you can bring a guest.

Wondering if you should give your friend a plus one to your wedding? Thinking about a "no ring no bring" policy? It can get confusing! If your friend does get a guest, address your envelope this way.

And if you have a common law marriage but no interest in a paper marriage, you should be able to bring your other half. And if you're in a serious relationship, you should be able to bring that person too. The way things have gone lately, most couples live together before getting engaged. So a no ring, no bring policy would mean leaving the live in significant other at home.

But where does it stop? Where does it become tacky and offensive to your guests? Or is it always offensive?

Although, if you are offended and boycott the wedding -- as I have seen happen -- that does free up room for someone else, and helps keep the count low, which is a way to combat costs, which is what the couple was going for.

Personally, we didn't do this. If you were absolutely single with no prospects on the horizon, you were invited alone. But if our guests were dating someone, our guests got a guest. It wasn't up to me to place value on someone's relationship. If you had someone you were dating to bring, you could bring them. And if you were traveling to our wedding and didn't know anyone else who was coming (forcing you to travel and spend the weekend away alone), we gave you a guest too.

BRIDAL BABBLE: What do you think?


  1. I don't agree with this because it is not up to the Bride and Groom to place a value on anyone's relationship. Just because a couple isn't married does not mean that they are not important to each other. Even if they're only together for 6 months it is no one else's place to make the judgement that the relationship isn't important enough to be included in such events. If I were the guest and the Bride and Groom made that judgement I would likely not attend. If the guest is important enough to be invited to the wedding than the people in their life should be as well as their feelings should matter.

    With that being said, I do not think that it is necessary to invite a single person with a plus 1. I just think it is important to make sure that there is no special person in their life before sending the invite sans guest.

  2. I'm sorry, but if I was invited to a wedding and my boyfriend wasn't because we weren't engaged them I would be re-thinking my friendship with you. Its not your place to decide how serious a couple is. Married, engaged, or dating you don't split up a couple. Truly single people are another story.

  3. I agree with this to an extent. If you know they have someone special send the a +1, if they don't have anyone that you know of at the time of the invites I would not offer them a +1. And if they break up before your wedding, the +1 does not transfer over to someone brand new.

  4. I know I'm chiming in late on this but I don't agree. think about a few months ago before you were engaged - would you be offended if you were not invited to one of Mike's friends weddings. I think so, I know I would be.

    1. Stephanie, I'm not sure who Mike is, so I don't know if you're commenting on this thinking of someone else.

      But, I know people who have had a "no ring no bring" policy, and I know the guests invited to those weddings who have respected that policy.

      And, if you read through the post again, you will notice that I never said I was adopting this policy or that I agreed with it. I just hear of brides doing it and was asking it anyone else had heard of it and what they thought of it.

  5. I love this. I tried to use this policy for a large group of my college friends. They all understood and it was great. Some of my other friends did not get it though and felt they should be able to bring a guest. I even told my divorced aunt and uncle they werent allowed to bring a date and made them sit together (in all fairness, they still lived together at that point and if you live together you can sit together!)

  6. Fortunately, we had a small wedding and I wasn't concerned about such things. This seems rude to me really. I invited my friends to my wedding and they brought who they wanted to, I didn't ask if they were married or engaged or whatnot. Guess I am glad I had never heard of this.