Would You Send A Bill To Wedding No Shows?

There's a story that has gone viral recently about a woman who received a bill for a wedding she did not attend. The short version of the story is that her mother said she couldn't babysit last minute and the couple, who had already RSVP'd yes, was a no show for the wedding.

I've had three people send it to me and ask my opinion. Running a wedding blog doesn't make me the authority on wedding etiquette, but I'm a pretty decent and logical person, which is what you need to be in a situation like this.

Let's start out with a bit of reality. Your wedding is a ceremony to bind together you and your fiance. It's not a fund raiser. Your guests give you gifts to help you start a new life together. They are not obligated to give you money.

Where I grew up, it's customary for your guests to "pay for their plate." You sort of figure out how much the couple paid for your dinner, and you write them a check to cover that and stick it in a card. But just because that's customary doesn't mean it's required.

When we got married, almost all of our guests traveled from New York to North Carolina to celebrate with us. It was so important to me to make our wedding an "event" not just a five hour thing. I really wanted to thank our guests for traveling all the way here to celebrate our big day with us, so we invited every guest to our rehearsal dinner at a local park, catered with an amazing southern BBQ meal. I wanted to give our guests a taste of what we have down here (since North Carolina BBQ is so different than other BBQ). We picked a reception venue on the beach because we basically live at the beach now so I wanted our guests to experience that.

Our oceanfront venue was way more per head than I had originally wanted to pay. But that was my choice. I didn't expect our guests to give us a bigger gift because I decided I wanted to pay a premium for a beach venue and shrimp and grits.

Honestly, I didn't even expect gifts at all. Almost everyone had to travel; almost everyone had to pay to spend a few nights in a hotel; almost everyone was way more generous than Pete and I could have ever dreamed of.

Did we have wedding no shows? Yes. We had one couple (from New York) that texted Pete at 11pm the night before our wedding to say they weren't coming. We had another couple (one of our few local couples) just not show up at all. No call, no show. The type of thing that gets you written up at your job.

We didn't send those couples a bill for not coming. Yes, we had to pay for them, but we were always planning on paying for them. We were never expecting them to pay for themselves. We invited people based on what we could afford, not based on what we thought we would get in return.

If you invite someone and they don't show up when they said they would, you can get mad. You can rant and rave to your husband, your best friend, or your cat. But you absolutely can't send a bill to the couple that doesn't show, just like you can't send a bill to a couple that gives you a gift that's less than you expected. Instead, invite people expecting their presence to be their present and be very happy that they gave you their time. It's worth more than an extra zero on a check.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Do you think it's okay to send a bill to wedding no shows?

Heading to a wedding soon?
Check out our post on How To Be A Good Wedding Guest.

How To Be A Good Wedding Guest

Pete is a really good wedding guest. He just enjoys himself and has a great time. He's just one of those guests that you know is having a good time at your wedding, which sort of makes all your other guests want to have a good time too. So, I was thinking about it. We've written a post about how to be a good bridesmaid, but I never wrote a post on how to be a good wedding guest ... until now. Here are five quick tips on how to be a good wedding guest.

How To Be A Good Wedding Guest

Dance.
I don't care who you dance with: yourself, the flower girl, the mother of the groom, the bride, your husband, your friend's husband. Whoever it is, just get the party started. It's such a shame when the couple paid for a band or DJ and the dance floor is left empty. That happened at a wedding I was at once with my friend (who was my last minute date when my actual date got sick at the last minute). We weren't going to sit in our seats just because everyone else was. So we danced. A lot. The wait staff danced with us when none of the other guests would.

Honestly, I have no rhythm. You won't see me on So You Think You Can Dance any time soon. But I like to dance. Quick, slow, Cupid Shuffle. Whatever. I just have fun with it. And if you do, other guests will too and the dance floor (and maybe even your dance card) will be full.

Eat and drink.
We had an open bar and kept it open during our full five-hour reception. Being a number cruncher, I figured that if each of our guests had one drink an hour, we would "win" (meaning, we would be paying less by paying per hour than per drink). If each guest had less than one drink an hour, the venue would win (so we would be paying more by paying per hour than per drink). I mentioned this to my good friends who were coming and they all assured me they would drink more than one drink per hour. And they did. I was so happy because we paid for an open bar. I wanted our guests to take advantage of it.

I felt the same way with the food. We had plenty of food, and our guests ate it. As a bride, that made me happy too. The couple is paying for you to eat (at the cost of around $100 or $150 per person). If you went out to dinner and it cost you $150 a person, you would lick your plate clean. So please, respect the couple's money and eat your food.

And, just a small note: If you're at a plated reception and can't finish your meal, you can ask for a to go box to take your leftovers home.

Congratulate the couple.
The bride and groom are the only people at the wedding who know every single guest. So, of course, they are going to be really busy talking with everyone. But be sure you at least get a chance to say congratulations to them at least once. If a couple has a receiving line, this is easy. But if they don't, make sure you stop for a moment to say congratulations and tell the couple how beautiful the wedding is. And, if you get a chance to see them again, ask them if they need anything. The couple may be having trouble getting to the bar for a glass of water, and you could be the savior.

Take part in the activities.
The couple takes a lot of time to plan every single wedding detail. You, as a guest, should try to appreciate that -- and take part in every part of it. If there's a photo booth, do it. If the couple has a video guest book, leave a message. If they have a traditional guest book, sign it. If, like at the wedding I was at this weekend, there are mustache temporary tattoos, put one on and take a photo. The couple picked these things to make sure you have a good time. So definitely take part in them.

Bring a card.
We don't show up anywhere empty handed. It's just part of being a good guest. If we are going to your house for dinner, there's a good chance we will bring beer and dessert. When you go to a wedding, you should bring something as well. Up North, it's traditional to bring a card and check. In the South, I see more people bringing boxed gifts (registry items, perhaps). But you don't have to bring a gift, just like you don't have to write a check large enough to cover your plate. Your guests are inviting you because they want to celebrate their big day with you, not because they want your money. So, even if you can't afford a gift, you can still go to someone's wedding. But you need -- absolutely need -- to bring a congratulations card. You can pick up wedding cards for $.99 at the local drugstore. Heck, you can even get two for a dollar at the dollar store. But please, don't show up without a card.

BRIDAL BABBLE: What other tips would you tell someone how to be a good wedding guest?

Heading to a wedding?
Don't forget to read our Wedding Guest Purse Essentials post.

Lucky Duck Wine DIY (Rehearsal Dinner Gift Idea)

Our friends got married on Sunday and we were invited to the rehearsal dinner the day before. Typically, you don't bring anything to a rehearsal dinner, but if you know us, you know we can't show up empty handed. What do you bring to a rehearsal dinner, you ask? Oh, a punny bottle of wine.

I found Lucky Duck wine and just knew it would be such a fun play on words. Lucky ... get lucky. Perfect. I brought the bottle home and used it to create a cute printable. Don't worry, though. You're in luck. You can actually save the printable at the bottom of this post and print it so you don't have to design your own.

Lucky Duck Wine DIY

Truth be told, Lucky Duck Wine is a Walmart brand. I didn't know that when I picked it. I just knew the name would work for this project. The one I picked is a Chardonnay, which I picked because I wanted a white wine so it wouldn't be seen through the printable, like a red would. I don't ever recall our friends being "sweet" wine fans, so Moscato and Riesling were out.

You can choose any wine type, as long as it is Lucky Duck.

What You Need:

• Lucky Duck wine
• Free printable (at the end of this post)
• Paper trimmer
• Scissors
• Pencil
• Tape

What You'll Do:

Hold the printable over the wine. Adjust it so the word "Lucky" is in the blank space.

Draw a rectangle around "Lucky".

Carefully, use the scissors to cut out the square.

Using the paper trimmer, cut off one inch from the top and the bottom.

Wrap the printable around the bottle (making sure "Lucky" is showing). Tape it in the back.

That's it. It's super easy and super cute. If you want to give multiple wine bottles to the couple, check out our Wedding Gift For Wine Lovers post.

Now, as far as the printable goes, it's easy. Just right click the image below and save it to your computer. It is formatted to be printed on an 8.5x11 sheet of paper (so a normal sheet of printer paper). If you try to print and the default option of "print picture to frame" is selected, uncheck it.

We have a few other wedding printables available for free, too. They're all listed below:

• Bridal Shower Word Search
• Mason Jar Hot Chocolate Mix Favors
• Be Wise, Don't Drink & Drive Owl Printable
• DIY Bridesmaids Cards
• DIY Thanks A Latte Coffee Wedding Favor
• Honeymoon Packing Checklist
• DIY Bridesmaids Wine Bottle
• Famous Couples Bridal Shower Game
• Thank You For Being My Groomsman Cigar Gift
• DIY Wedding Sparklers & Free Printable Tags
• Tears Of Joy Envelopes
• Bridal Bingo

BRIDAL BABBLE: Have you heard of Lucky Duck wine?

Wedding Guest Purse Essentials

There's an episode of How I Met Your Mother where the entire gang is at a funeral Robin is basically Red from Shawshank Redemption. She's the person who has what you need -- and if she doesn't have it, she can get it.

And I think wedding guests need to pack their purses with that same mentality. Don't pack for what you might need; try and anticipate what the bride might need. Now, honestly, giving a wedding emergency kit to the bride is an easy way to solve this. But you still need to pack a few essentials in your purse.

What are those essentials? Don't worry. I got you covered.

Wedding Guest Purse Essentials

• Driver's license (Even if you're not driving. If you are drinking, the bartender will need to check your ID in order to serve you.)
• Cash (to tip that nice bartender who just made you feel young by checking your ID, plus to tip your server and if there is a valet driver)
• Lipstick (After you eat and drink, you'll probably want to reapply. Plus, it gives you an excuse to head to the bathroom and chat with your gal pals.)
• Car keys (Somehow you're gonna have to get home at the end of the night.)
• Flats (I love to pack something like Dr. Scholl's fast flats or flip flops.)
• Sole Serum (Seriously, this is my new necessity if I plan on dancing at all at a wedding. It heels your foot pain before it even happens. Read my full review here.)
• Aspirin (This is the one thing I needed at our wedding reception that the venue wasn't able to give me so now I always carry it for the bride. Go with something like these Advil 2-count packs because you don't really want to carry a full bottle.)
• Cell phone (so you can take photos, get the cute single guy's number, whatever.)
• Card (Don't forget your gift!)
• Feminine products (Even if you don't personally need it, someone will need this. Trust me. If you take this out of your purse at the start of the reception and just leave it in the bathroom, I guarantee you it will be gone before the end of the night.)
• Band Aids (This is one of those things that I always have in my purse, never use myself but never have at the end of the night because someone always needs a Band Aid.)
• Tissues (It's a wedding; you're gonna cry -- or someone is going to need to blow their nose, or you're gonna have that one bite of food that just takes awful and you need to spit it out somewhere.)
• Hair tie (I always carry an emergency hair tie with me ... and someone with a hair emergency always finds me.)
• Oil absorbing sheets (These are good to have so you don't look shiny in all those wedding photos people are taking -- that you will probably never see, honestly.)

BRIDAL BABBLE: What are your wedding guest purse essentials?

Four Unique Wedding Cake Cutting Songs

We knew exactly what song we would play when we cut our wedding cake. In fact, Pete had it picked out before he even realized that we had to pick specific songs for specific parts of our reception. He knew for sure that he wanted to play "Cut the Cake" by Average White Band. It's such a funny song and, quite literally, states what's exactly happening.

Of course, I love any sort of play on words or anything that's even slightly punny, so I was definitely on board. And of course, I had to make that the top song in our shortlist of unique wedding cake cutting songs. I only picked four because, honestly, I hate the lists that give you every single love song ever known to man as an option.

Four Unique Wedding Cake Cutting Songs

Cut the Cake -- Average White Band

Cut the Cake -- Average White Band mp3

Sugar, Sugar -- The Archies

Sugar, Sugar -- The Archies mp3

How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You) -- James Taylor

How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You) -- James Taylor mp3

I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch) -- The Four Tops

I Can't Help Myself (Sugar Pie, Honey Bunch) -- The Four Tops mp3

If you need ideas for your other songs, you can check out all our wedding songs.

BRIDAL BABBLE: What are your favorite wedding cake cutting songs?

Why You Should Have No Exes At The Wedding

This post is written by Pete. For all his posts, check out this link.

Fellas PLEASE! No exes at the wedding! Sounds crazy right ... or at least it should sound crazy. I mean, obviously, common sense, right? But believe it or not I know guys who actually tried to do this. For those of you, who don't possess common sense, this post is for you. Okay, so just picture this ...

You dated some female back in the day, and although it didn't work out, she's tons of fun, "totally cool," and "cool to drink beers with." The two of you didn't work out, but she's an awesome friend, like one of the guys, ya know? And since she's such a cool bud, you could totally invite her to your wedding, right? Hell no you dumb idiot. She your EX! Yeah, she's your friend so you're just treating her just like the rest of your friends, and you're inviting all of your other friends to the wedding so what's the problem right?

Alright let's just stop right there. I assume anyone with a pulse and eyes that work well enough to read that can see what the problem is here, right? If not, you probably shouldn't be getting married and/or reproducing anyway. So please do the world a favor by NOT contributing your doofy DNA to the global gene pool.

In all honestly though, I get it. I can see both sides, but the only side that matters is the one that's right. Yeah yeah yeah. Okay, I know, the two of you broke up a long time ago, and she's a totally cool person. You may even still see her at the local bar from time to time and speak cordially. Maybe you have a few innocent laughs as the two of you reminisce on some silly old memories. But the bottom line here is that there is no way it is ever okay to invite an ex to your wedding. I'm speaking to you too ladies. I've met several females who are brain dead on this topic too.

I will now explain why by using the following visual to prove my point: Think about this guys. How would you like it if your wife-to-be decided to put ol' Mr. Bum-Ass-Has-Been on the guest list. You know, that dude she dated right before you, that clown you know for a fact has seen and enjoyed her in the most private of ways. Okay. Now imagine this guy sitting in the crowd during your wedding ceremony, straight across from you, and right in the center, front row, his sights fixed on the two of you as you recite your vows (either at a church, courthouse, bank of a river, whatever). Now imagine him looking at the woman you're about to marry, picturing her naked in his mind, because that's exactly what he'd be doing. And the picture he's seeing is damn near 100% accurate. Remember, he's seen the goods. Now picture how you'd feel in that moment, knowing that. Feels uncomfortable, right? Maybe you imagine yourself lunging into the crowd and dragging this guy outside by his neck tie, calling a cab, and sending him home? Who knows. The point is it would be an extremely uncomfortable, awkward, and generally anger-inducing situation.

So fellas, (and ladies, I didn't forget you) just avoid all the aggravation, the shouts of "What are you freaking kidding me?! Really?! Invite your ex!? You're so much dumber than I thought you were!" from your wife-to-be, the fights, and exercise a little common sense. Leave your exes in the past where they belong.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Do you agree with this no exes at the wedding rule?

How Nicholas Sparks Almost Ruined Our Wedding (aka How you can try plan for everything for your wedding, but you can't plan for everything)

When I was planning our wedding, I planned for everything. I mean, I really went overboard planning out every single scenario.

What will our one vegetarian friend have for dinner? (I ordered her a special meal.) How will the guests know to check out the candy buffet? (I asked the singer of our wedding band to announce it.)

And then, three of so weeks before our wedding, we stopped for coffee on the way home from the beach. While we were waiting to pick it up, I turned to look at the billboard affixed with business cards and advertisements. And there, right in the middle, was a poster for the Wilmington Triathlon. On the day of our wedding. Right where our church was.

My heart skipped a beat. Then two.

I didn't plan for triathlon runners to sprint right through my wedding. I just imagined my guests trying to simultaneously park and dodge competitors. As my triathlon experience has taught me, they would be coming in droves, causing a delay to my guests. And I was trying to figure out how to bring that up to every guest. "So, you may want to arrive early as triathlon runners may cause you a delay."

I took a photo of the poster to send to my mom, and that's when I saw the timing of it. It ended 90 or so minutes before our ceremony started, at the exact time Pete and his groomsmen were getting picked up by the limo. If the limo so perfectly timed the three mile trip, it wouldn't come in contact with the triathlon cleanup. The start and finish of the run was far enough away from our church that parking would be clear for our guests. And no one would ever know.

As quickly as my stress came, it left. But I still continued planning for every scenario.

What if the weather looks grim? (I packed a sun doll). What if someone sneaks into a family photo? (I told the photographer ahead of time so she was ready to take two sets).

What I didn't plan for was Nicholas Sparks. Yes, that Nicholas Sparks. Author of all your favorite love stories, like The Notebook, White People Almost Kissing, and How I Almost Ruined Lisa & Pete's Wedding Rehearsal.

As much as we love our town, so does Nicholas Sparks. When we moved down here, he was filming Safe Haven (and Pete even got on set). And the day of our rehearsal dinner, he was filming The Longest Ride. On the day of our wedding rehearsal. Right where our church was (and Pete even got on set. Again.).

There's a parking lot next to our church, in front of the church's school, where our guests could park. But the day of our rehearsal at the church, the crew was using that parking lot for equipment and were filming in classrooms inside the school. A big "film crew only" sign was taped to the lot's entrance.

I parked across the street from the church, then walked in alone (everyone else had yet to arrive) and thought about what might happen if filming ran over into our wedding day. The parking lot would be unavailable to guests and the classroom where my bridesmaids and I were to wait before the ceremony might be used to film.

And then I just laughed because I planned for every single scenario except if Nicholas Sparks decided to film a movie on my wedding day. At that point, there was nothing I could do but thank my lucky stars that I had really plotted out every other scenario.

Would a Friday wedding be a good idea? (No, stick to Saturday so people have to take one less day off work). Is street parking available if people can't use the lot? (Yes.)

And after I said a silent prayer of thanks (I was in a church after all) for picking a Saturday wedding, in walked Pete, a few minutes late. "Hi," he said to me. "Any idea why people are asking if I'm part of the film crew? Are we filming this?"

Clearly, he missed the big sign on the lot. But hey, he was marrying his best friend in 22 hours. He had more important things on his mind than a film crew. Me, well, I was still working out every potential scenario in my mind.

BRIDAL BABBLE: What potential wedding catastrophe could you never have anticipated?

A Bride On A Budget's Top Five Best Buy Wedding Registry Items For Your Kitchen #BestBuyWedding #ad

The reviewer has been compensated in the form of a Best Buy Gift Card and/or received the product/service at a reduced price or for free

There was a time when me and the kitchen didn't get along. Like, not at all. When I lived by myself in Pennsylvania, there was this time I ate a sauce sandwich. Oh, what's that delicacy you ask? It's when I put homemade sauce on a piece of bread and sprinkled some shredded mozzarella on top. I tried calling it a meatball hero without meatballs, but basically it was a culinary mess.

I'm so much better in the kitchen now (luckily, for Pete, because I can't see him ever eating a sauce sandwich). If you want to be better in the kitchen too, you need the right equipment. And part of that means adding the right kitchen items to your wedding registry. It also means you need some recipes. So don't worry. I got you.

Below, I have our top five Best Buy wedding registry items for your kitchen. Even better, I have two easy recipes for you to make with those items. And trust me. The recipes are easy. They're ones I make all the time. So if the girl who used to eat sauce sandwiches can make them, so can you.

A Bride On A Budget's Top Five Best Buy Wedding Registry Items For Your Kitchen

Crock Pot

Potato soup

• Add five cloves of garlic (chopped), 32oz. chicken broth. six potatoes (peeled and chopped), one onion (chopped), half a stick of butter, 2.5 teaspoons salt, and 1 teaspoon pepper to the Crock Pot. Cook on low for seven hours, then high for one hour.
• Mash the potatoes (in the Crock Pot). Add one cup half and half, one cup shredded cheddar cheese, and three tablespoons of green onions. Stir. Serve (with sour cream and green onions on top, if you want).

Citrus Ginger Chicken

• Put two pounds of chicken breast in the Crock Pot. Top with a mixture of a half cup orange marmalade, three cloves of garlic (chopped), half an inch of ginger (peeled and chopped), and two tablespoons of soy sauce. Cook on low for about seven hours.
• Shred the chicken when it's done (it does this when you pull it out of the Crock Pot anyway) and serve over rice.

Ninja Professional Blender

Salsa

• Boil one medium sized onion (chopped), four tomatoes (chopped), and one jalapeno (chopped) for seven minutes.
• Strain and add the ingredients to the blender with a generous pinch of salt, a handful of chopped cilantro, and 1/4 cup of water. Blend until smooth-ish.

Berry Smoothies

• Blend together half a mango, half a banana, one-quarter cup of frozen mixed berries, and one-quarter cup of orange juice.

Soda Stream

Homemade Ginger Ale

• First, make ginger syrup: Boil one-quarter pound ginger (peeled and chopped), one cup sugar, and one cup water. Stir constantly until the sugar dissolves. Simmer for 30 minutes. Strain and put into a squeeze bottle. 
• Use the Soda Stream to make carbonated water and add the ginger syrup.

"Homemade" Soda

• Use the Soda Stream to make carbonated water. Add in your choice of Soda Stream syrup.

Cuisinart Cookware

Kale Pasta

• Boil pasta (in one pot) until it's al dente. In a pan, saute two onions (chopped), two garlic cloves (chopped), and 16oz. of mushrooms in a pat of butter until the onions are translucent. Add kale (pulled from the stem) to the pan. Cover and steam until wilted.
• Mix together the pasta (drained) and the kale mixture. Add 15oz. ricotta cheese and one-quarter cup Parmesan cheese. Bake in a 9x11 pan for 30 minutes at 350.

Simple Pasta Sauce

• Saute one onion (chopped) in a pan with three tablespoons olive oil. When they are translucent, add three cloves of garlic (chopped). Add one 28oz. can of diced tomatoes, a pinch of salt, and a pinch of red pepper flakes.
• Cook for 20 minutes over low heat.

Rachael Ray Mini Muffin Pan

Cake Mix Muffins

• Combine boxed cake mix, one cup water, and one small container (5 to 6oz) of Greek yogurt. Fill the mini muffin pan.
• Bake at 350 for about 12 minutes.

Mini Egg Bakes

• Stir eggs, milk (in a one egg to two tablespoon milk ratio), a pinch of salt and pepper, and your choice of toppings (spinach, bacon crumbles, etc.). Fill the mini muffin pan.
• Bake at 350 until the egg is cooked through (about ten minutes).

Just a quick note about the Best Buy wedding registry. You can create your registry here. Any items that are purchased off your Best Buy wedding registry will ship free, no minimum needed.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Which of these items would you add to your Best Buy wedding registry?