Choosing Shoes For Your Bridal Party

I was in my cousin's wedding a few years ago, and she decided that we would all wear the same shoes. I'm the kind of girl who prefers flats to five-inch heels, and my stability wavers around three inches. So the heels she picked, being 4.5 inches, they were a gamble. I didn't trip down the aisle, and I didn't fall walking into the reception hall either. But, as soon as I did my entrance, I changed shoes.

I actually changed shoes so quickly that I don't even have a photo with them on. The photographer has pictures of me wearing them, but I don't have any personal photos with them. The only photos I have where you can see my shoes are of the flats I changed into.

I've been talking about choosing shoes for your bridal party to a bunch of people lately, and there seems to be a distinct line between what people think. You either think the entire bridal party should have matching shoes or, well, you don't. I don't know if it's just people I talk to but everyone seems to be on one side of the other. No one seems to be in the middle thinking both could work.

Personally, I'm a fan of everyone having the same shoes. It just looks coordinated and I'm sometimes really particular about the weirdest things (and this is one of those times). And this is what I did at our wedding for the bridesmaids. They all wore these heels in silver. They were really comfortable and cute. And do remember one person taking them off before the night was through, but that's because we had a flip flop basket that encouraged our guests to swap shoes.

Honestly, often, everyone tends to take off their shoes and wear some sort of flats, so everyone gets uncoordinated very quickly. So you could start your bridal party off uncoordinated and be sort of coordinated by the night's end.

Then there's the option that you pick a color. Your bridesmaids can choose their favorite shoes (in that color) to wear. Someone can wear flats, someone can wear pumps, someone can wear awesome open-toed rocker heels (which I wore for my engagement party and they were really more comfortable than I thought they would be). Your bridal party can buy new shoes if they want or wear what's in their closets already. Everyone can choose wedding shoes that are comfortable to them and there's a better chance they'll be wearing them by the end of the night.

And that's more of what the groomsmen do. Most tuxedo rentals have an optional shoe rental. But what most grooms do (and what Pete did) is ask the groomsmen to wear any black dress shoe they own. You just want to make sure they clean them before walking down the aisle.

Pete completely bucked that, though, and wore personalized Converse, which I eventually changed into to match him. See, coordination.

So I have to ask ...

BRIDAL BABBLE: What side of the choosing shoes for your bridal party debate are you on? Matching shoes, matching color, or a free for all?

How To Survive All Day In Wedding Heels

I remember when my cousin picked out heels for her bridal party. I didn't dare try to change her mind, even though they were way higher than anything I had ever successfully worn. I just had to tell myself, "Suck it up, Buttercup" and learn how to make it down the aisle without falling flat on my face.

I survived. And you can too.

If you're picking glamorous heels for yourself or if your bride picked out tall high heels for you to wear as part of her bridal party, this is for you. I'll get you through this and help you survive all day in wedding heels. It can be done and, for you, it will be done.

How To Survive All Day In Wedding Heels

Before The Wedding

Make sure you buy the right size.
If you can buy your heels in store, that's your best bet. Ordering online is scary because you don't know if the heels you're buying run wide, narrow, large, or small. You can't tell if it will pinch your toe or not. If you can only find your favorite shoe online, write down the name of the designer and find a local store that carries that brand. Even if you can't find the exact heel you have your heart set on, at least you can see how that brand's sizing works. You want to make sure you buy your size. A heel that is too large or too small will be your nemesis on wedding day.

If you do end up being an inbetween size, all is not lost. You can pick up something like Sizers. Those are a little foam insert that goes into the front of your heel to add a quarter size. These won't work on open-toed shoes because they go between your toes and the tip of the heel. For open-toed heels, you want a more traditional insole (small aside: I have these cute, thin, black, sticky insoles that I bought with a pair of heels at a shoe store that no longer exists in a mall I no longer shop in. They're amazing and I still transfer them between two of my favorite heels five years later. It makes the heels just a quarter size smaller so they fit perfectly, I can't find them online, partially because "cute, thin, black, sticky insoles for heels" doesn't bring up any search results).

Buy early and practice.
As soon as you (or your bride) decides on a heel, buy it. You can search for a coupon or you can check Amazon (I've gotten wedding heels at a discount there), but don't stall and wait until the last second to get your shoes. You'll want to buy them early and practice. Walk around the house in them, wear them for date night, wear them to bed. Break them in however you can and you'll be a lot happier.

At The Wedding

Strap up with tape.
Before you get on the dance floor, use first aid tape in any area that may become bruised or blistered. Preventative care will go a long way when you're battling strappy heels.

Pack an alternate pair of shoes.
If you're a wedding guest, you're allowed to sit down every once in a while. As the bride or a bridesmaid, you don't have that luxury. You have to dance every song, work the room talking to every guest, and be on your feet all night. When I'm attending a wedding, I always pack fold up flats because they're convenient and fit in my purse. On my wedding day, though, I packed white flip flops for when we were on the beach and personalized Converse that matched Pete's.

After The Wedding

Soak your feet in an Epsom salt bath.
The next day, you'll want to give your feet a break. If they're hurting, soak them in an Epsom salt bath (fill a bath with warm water, add two cups of Epsom salt and a few drops of lavender essential oil). Soak. After, be sure to exfoliate with a high-quality pumice stone.

Stretch.
Your calves might be a little sore the next day if you're not used to wearing heels. Be sure to do some stretches, elevate your legs a little, and give them a little break. You'll be back to good in time for the next wedding.

BRIDAL BABBLE: How do you survive all day in wedding heels?

Review: Sole Serum

A Bride On A Budget received this product for this Sole Serum review. All thoughts, opinions, and heels belong to A Bride On A Budget.

Part of the fun of being a wedding guest is getting to dress up. The times that normal people get to wear fancy dresses and amazing shoes is slim, so you have to take full advantage of that when you head to a wedding.

Especially if you're someone like me who works from home. The times I actually spend in shoes is minimal, so when I have a chance to wear pretty heels, I'm excited.

Those are the heels I wore to my brother's wedding in August. Super pretty ... but super high. And for someone who wears flip flops the majority of the week, I just don't have feet that are used to the pain heels can bring.

I'm good with walking in heels. I'm never wobbly. But there are times when I just want to stop standing and rest my feet.

Unfortunately, at a wedding, there's not that much time to do that. Between mingling and dancing, there's not much time to sit. Plus, you're at a wedding, most of which consist of an hour cocktail hour and a four hour reception. You don't want to spend any part of that (besides dinner) glued to your chair. And if you're a bride, you don't even get the luxury of sitting during dinner. I mean, there's a very good chance you don't even get dinner.

Enter Sole Serum.

We were two tubes for this Sole Serum review, right in time for my brother's wedding.

The product is a lidocaine foot spray made with a trio of oils: lavender, peppermint, and tea tree (you can find the full list of Sole Serum ingredients on the brand's website). Lidocaine, actually, can be used as a local anesthetic for minor surgery, mostly because of its rapid efficacy. Basically, it works quickly.

But how does Sole Serum work, you wonder.

When your feet start to hurt, pump twice onto your foot, then massage. Wait about a minute until it dries, then put your heels on and get back to dancing. You should feel better within 10 minutes.

But ... does it work?

I think it depends on how much pain you're in when you use it. When I used it the first time, it was after I had been wearing heels while getting ready, then all around the church parking lot prior to the ceremony. I was talking and walking with no seat in sight. I took off my heels to drive an hour to the venue, giving my feet a rest. I changed back into heels right before entering the reception and was on my feet during the entire cocktail hour. By dinner hour, my feet were really in pain. I used the Sole Serum and stayed in my heels a bit, but I ended up changing into flip flops to make my feet happier.

The next day, though, my feet were sore (I know, I'm a wimp). So I decided to have an experiment. I used Sole Serum on my left foot but not on my right foot. It actually eased my foot and calf pain, so I was really happy about that. Of course, it was less pain than the day before, so I would definitely suggest you using this as soon as you start to feel pain if you really want it to be effective.

And yes, I used it on my calves. I know, that sounds silly since it's meant for feet, but I get calf pain a lot (it's one of the things that has been passed through generations in my family -- lucky me). I actually liked it for that. It calmed the pain, which is usually just relieved by aspirin. And really, I would prefer a pump of this instead of popping pain meds.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Do you feel pain when you wear heels?

Choosing Unique Wedding Shoes

This post is written by Pete. For all his posts, check out this link.

When ya wanna keep it fresh, whether you're at a wedding, at your wedding, just going out for a casual dinner, going to the grocery store, getting the mail, driving to the bank, or just walking around inside your apartment, ya gotta have nice footwear to round out an outfit. Case in point: your wedding suit.

When renting a tux, your options are pretty limited. The only real control I felt I had over how I looked was the shoes I chose. I can't speak for other guys, but the shoe choices I was given by Men's Warehouse made me laugh to keep from crying. But alas! I saw an opportunity, a chance to do something that was unique. I mean ... I could actually have a chance to have some say in our wedding?

Photo credit: Derick & Christy Photography

Shoes boys, it's all about the shoes. While the ladies make 99.999% of the decisions regarding how your wedding will look, where it will be, how it will smell, feel, etc., part of that .0001% of the input we get is what kind of wedding shoes we can wear. As far as colors go, I didn't want to go for the black tux penguin look. Lisa and I were married in a coastal area, so I really wanted a suit with some color. Luckily Men's Warehouse had something right up my alley -- light grey and lilac. Smooth. Now for the shoes.

I could have chosen the plain, boring, blindingly-shiny gaudy shoes that were optional with the tux rental, but I had a better idea: design my own. I was going to do skate shoes, but the ones I'm partial to are way too thick and fluffy. I eventually narrowed it down to two choices: Vans and Converse. Both go with anything. The versatility is unparalleled -- casual, with shorts, at the beach, socks, no socks, jeans and a t-shirt, right on up to a tuxedo. The question now was: Which brand had the colors I was looking for?

The answer to that question, at least for me, was Converse. On the website, you can design and customize your own sneaks in an almost infinite number of ways -- from the color of the eyelets to the color of each side of your sneaker to the color of the thin stripe that runs around the outside of the sole. Using Converse's design platform I was able to create a pair of hi-top Chuck Taylors that highlighted and matched the colors of my suit perfectly. I even had the word "Hubby" stitched into the canvas on the heel. Brownie points!

Lisa's addition: We actually got matching Converse. I wore mine during our reception. It was a lot easier to dance in sneakers than heels. To match with Pete, I had the word "Wifey" stitched on the back of mine.

BRIDAL BABBLE: What type of unique wedding shoes would you choose?

Wedding DIY: Flip Flop Basket

The night I got engaged, my friend Kimie called me, wanting to hear the whole story. I told her, and then we started brainstorming wedding ideas. One of the ideas that came out of it was a wedding flip flop basket.

If you haven't seen one of these at a wedding, it's pretty self explanatory. You fill a basket with flip flops and put it in a corner of the ballroom, close to the dance floor. That way, when your guests get tired of wearing their high heels, they can change into flip flops.

Putting together the basket was super easy so I put together a great DIY tutorial.

I can't take all the credit for this. When my mom was here to help with wedding planning, she was assigned the task of creating these and taking photos. I told her what I wanted and she made it happen.

Gotta love moms.

Wedding Flip Flop Basket

When you're making this, keep in mind that you won't need a pair of flip flops for every guest. Some won't grab one. But you want to put together enough pairs so your basket doesn't look empty.

What You'll Need:

• Scissors
• Ribbon
• Glue Dots
• Flip flops
• Violet cardstock, cut into circles
• Dark purple cardstock, cut into circles
• White cardstock, cut into circles
• Flip flops
• Pen

What You'll Do:



Cut a piece of ribbon long enough to wrap around the flip flops (the size is going to vary based on how thick/wide your flip flops are).

Fold the flip flops in half. Use a Glue Dot to affix the ribbon on one side. Wrap the ribbon around.

Where the ends meet, affix with another Glue Dot.

On the front side, affix a purple circle. We used the light purple for the women's and the dark purple for the men's. This was an easy way to figure out which is which since these will be in the same basket at the wedding.

Write the size on a white cardstock circle and affix it to the correct flip flop. Place them all in a basket according to size.

You can create a cute sign that says "Dancing shoes" using the same colored cardstock as well.

This came out exactly as I had imagined and I'm so happy with it. I can't wait to display it at our wedding -- and hopefully keep people dancing.

BRIDAL BABBLE: Have you been to a wedding with a flip flop basket?

Presents From My Maid Of Honor

My maid of honor came to visit for Memorial Day Weekend, which has been awesome. We went to see a venue together, fake saw a second venue, and have been talking about wedding stuff nonstop.

It's been amazing.

Also amazing is that she brought us two presents from New York.

One was a bag filled with New York bagels (because bagels from home are incredible and bagels from everywhere else are not worth wasting your calories on).

The second was ten pairs of Old Navy flip flops for our flip flop basket.

She got an Old Navy gift card as a gift and was so super generous and used it to buy us flip flops. Eight of the ten pairs are a women's 9 because it's basically impossible for me to find them in my local store since they seem to be so popular. And since they are so popular, we need to stock up on them.

I told Pete that if we don't have at least 30 pairs of flip flops for our basket, we're going to look pretty silly and it just won't work.

These ten pairs will definitely help.

With my maid of honor down here, I'm still no closer to my goal of picking a venue (which means more sleepless nights) but at least I'm closer to my flip flop goal.

One thing at a time, right?

BRIDAL BABBLE: Which gift would you prefer: bagels or flip flops?

Want to see our finished flip flop basket?
Check out our final flip flop basket post.

Flip Flop Basket (Update)

There are times when you get an idea in your head, and you get past the point of no return. And then you just have to keep going with it because, well, that's what the cliche says.

How exactly do you determine the point of no return?

Can someone determine that for me, exactly, in pairs of flip flops?

I'm at 10. 

I feel like this is going very smoothly for my flip flop basket. My original goal was something lofty, like 75 to 100, but that is just incredibly ridiculous. I don't realistically need that many. I don't need a pair for two-thirds of the people at our wedding. Okay, maybe I do, but I just don't think that many people will partake in the flip flop festivities.

Although, the venues we are looking at are on the beach, so that might be more realistic than lofty.

My minimum goal is 30. If I have any less than 30 pairs, this will be a completely flop. Thirty pairs for 150 guests also sounds like a flop, but that's not the point.

The point is I went shopping today, picked up two more free pairs of Old Navy flip flops, and I'm at 10 (that's including that rogue pair of blue for the men and the gray with the colored thongs for the women). Originally when I started this, I didn't care about the colors. I wanted to buy them in any color and it would be a rainbow in a basket. But then I looked at photos online and absolutely hated when the basket was filled with a hodgepodge of colors. It looked tacky. I decided that I would stick to silver and white for women and black and gray for men. The plan is to wrap them in organza ties with a purple tag, and that will coordinate them with my eggplant, lilac, and silver color scheme.

Since the $5 off purchase coupon from Old Navy seems to be given out in the Snap Appy mobile app once a week, and since that nets you two free pairs, I should be at 30 in ten more weeks. Assuming I don't lose steam and scrap the entire project before then.

My trouble is, I'm arbitrarily picking sizes. I'm pretty even right now. I have two pairs in a women's 6, two in a women's 7, two in a women's 8 (plus the rogue pair, but that doesn't count), one in a women's 9, one in a men's 8/9 (but that is the blue pair, so it shouldn't count), and one in a men's 10/11. So, I need a cross-section to see where I should buy the majority. That's where you can help. Answer today's bridal babble, please.

BRIDAL BABBLE: What size Old Navy flip flop do you wear?

Want to see our finished flip flop basket?
Check out our final flip flop basket post.

Flip Flops Basket (The Beginning)

When I got engaged, I sent a few individual texts first, followed by a few group texts.

One of my individual texts was to my friend Kimie, who immediately called me wanting details.

I'm not done sending texts yet, I told her. I'll call you back in a little bit.

When I did call her, we already started planning the wedding. Kimie is pretty much Kathleen Heigl in 27 Dresses. I think she was asked to be in 14 weddings ... and I was lucky number 15. She has a plethora of knowledge to pull from, so she gave me a bunch of ideas, including a flip flops basket.

The flip flops basket would be situated somewhere in the reception hall. There would be a catchy sign on it that read something like: If your feet are tired, don't sit down; put on these flip flops and keep dancing around. That's the best I came up with so far; feel free to use it.

If you're having a wedding of 150 to 200, well, flip flops can add up. I mean, realistically, you probably need half the number of flip flops as guests since the men will most likely be fine with their shoes so you're more worried about the female guests who start off wearing high heels and end up with blisters.

Even buying 75 to 100 flip flops is pricey, and my goal is to really make this wedding as budget friendly as possible.

Thank goodness for Old Navy. Old Navy had an app called Snap Appy (It's gone now, unfortunately, but was great in 2013 when this post was written). You "snap" a photo of the Old Navy logo and you can get surprises. Sometimes you get outfit ideas and other times, you get a coupon for money off your total purchase. You can "snap" ten times a day. I snapped and got a coupon for $5 off any purchase.

Which means I can get anything that's $5 for free. Well, wouldn't you know, flip flops are $3.94 or two for $5.

So I went to Old Navy and picked up two pairs and they were both for free.

It wasn't until I got home that I thought I maybe should have paid a bit of attention to the colors. I figured I would just buy any colors and mix and match in the box, but in hindsight I think sticking to two or three colors would be a good idea.

Now, do I think I can get 75 to 100 free flip flops? I'm not sure, but that's the ultimate goal. I'll keep you posted on how that is going (and how my travel bags are going too).

BRIDAL BABBLE: Have you seen a flip flops basket at a wedding before?

Want to see our finished flip flop basket?
Check out our final flip flop basket post.

Review: ShoeDazzle & The Dazzle Ever After Collection

My maid of honor and I were discussing shoes the other day. We were talking about them and if everyone is asked to wear the same ones at a wedding.

At times, it's an expensive additional request but it's one that comes with being in the bridal party. I'm in a wedding in March, and we were all asked to buy the same shoes. It's how it is.

My maid of honor and I were talking about it and how you'd be able to cut costs but still have nice shoes. We were brainstorming stores and the very first we came up with was ShoeDazzle.

Have you heard of ShoeDazzle? It's an online store that you sign up for and you are given access to the site, which sells shoes, handbags, and accessories. Everything is really reasonably priced. Average is about $39.95, which is a lot cheaper than you'd pay at a wedding boutique.

But ShoeDazzle isn't a stranger to weddings. In fact, the site had a Dazzle Ever After line, which is where the gorgeous heels in this photo shoot came from.

Now, if you're worried about ordering online and how they will arrive, please don't worry about ShoeDazzle. The ones I got have a fantastic flower on the top and then there's some fake baby's breath in the flower's center. It's so delicate. I was worried it would be destroyed when it arrived.

It wasn't. The shoe came stuffed with paper, so the straps held up in delivery and the flower had a big cardboard circle protecting it. I was really impressed with the shipping.

But even more impressive was the quality of the shoe. It's really delicate with the flower and strap, but the shoe is constructed so well that you have support even though the straps are thin. The bottom of the shoe has a slight platform, and that's really solid. Plus, the arch on the shoe isn't that severe, despite these being 4.5-inch heels.

The best part, though, is that I can wear these all day without a problem. Why? Because there's a built in padding throughout, with extra in the ball of the foot area. So, even if you're standing all day, you still have a soft comfort. It's definitely a huge help.

If you do decide that these are what your bridesmaids are wearing in the wedding, you don't have to worry about them getting ruined in transit. ShoeDazzle includes a bright pink shoe bag, so your girls can toss the pair in there, then pack them when they're heading to your place to get ready. Plus, this bag is great for the actual wedding reception, in case you want to take off your shoes and change into flats if you're dancing too much.

It doesn't seem like you can order from the Dazzle Ever After collection anymore, which is a bummer. You can order wedding heels on Amazon, though, which is actually what I did when I had to buy those shoes for the wedding I had in March. I found out what the name was, ordered, and paid about 30% less on Amazon than I would have if I bought them at a wedding boutique.

BRIDAL BABBLE: If you were choosing shoes for your bridal party, which would you select?